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Meeting the Parents
By Kate Thompson

Meeting the parents is the unavoidable first step towards becoming a welcome member in your partner's "private circle". Meeting the folk's is the best way to gain insight into how your beloved became the wonderful human being they are today (or figure out who's weird body hair they inherited). There really isn't anything to be afraid of when it comes to this important introduction, in fact some people really look forward to it. Wherever you stand on the matter, here is the low down on making a flawless first and lasting impression.

No matter where the introduction takes place, be sure to be a little more dressed up than usual and keep a conservative image. Proper apparel really is one of the make or break factors in having the parent's approval. Just because your intended has come to love you for yourself (mohawk/pro marijuana tee/safety pin through lip and all) doesn't mean the parents will.

Introduce yourself confidently and be the first to offer a compliment to help break the ice. Kissing butt does help as long as it's delivered in a genuine way without being too elaborately effectuated. In conversation do try to be yourself, only a more refined and distilled version. Save all your neurosis and vulgarity for future family reunions. Know enough about the parents to inquire about their hobbies or accomplishments, they will probably know more about you then you do them. Having something to question and discuss helps them to feel more comfortable and more willing to open up to you.

Have something to offer, as in bringing flowers or some wine as a warm gesture. Even if you're meeting out for dinner, bring something. If you are the invited guest for a family dinner then offer to bring dessert and always send a thank you card a week after the dinner, or in the very least call to extend your gratitude. If you follow these easy guidelines you're sure to become the son or daughter your future in-laws always wanted. If all else fails, remember that you can pick your friends but you can't pick your in-laws.


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