SHY GIRL

Q: Dear April,
Let me cut right to the chase. I am shy. I mean – really shy. I can barely even talk around most people, but put me next to some cute guy and I'm a total mute. I've had this problem my whole life, and have almost given up hope of ever getting better. What makes it even worse is that sometimes I'm drawn to shy people – and then it's a double whammy! Any ideas?

From,
Shy Girl

A: Dear Shy Girl,
You see someone across the room and you know instantly – they're the hottest person your eyes have ever come across, and you must meet them. So you gather your courage, casually walk on over, and… s-s-s-st-st-a-m-m-e-r. Your face flushes, your pulse quickens and the thought of actually getting a single word out seems totally impossible. You, my friend, are shy… and you're not alone.

No matter how smart or sexy or confident we are, it's likely that we've all experienced shyness at some point in our lives. The real problem arises when our shyness is so debilitating that we can't overcome it and it actually stops us from moving forward. If that's you – I've got two words for you: “fake it”.

That's right, I want you to fake it until you make it. How? By having pre-established ideas for how to approach that guy or girl of your dreams. No spontaneity required, but they'll never know (because you'll have practiced and practiced until you have it down pat). And I'll give you even more ideas about how to approach shy people if you're not the one with the problem but they are.

If you're the shy one.

Role Player – If you've ever wanted to be an actor, this one is perfect for you. Come up with an image of who you think the coolest, sexiest person would be and how they would approach the object of your affection. What would they say? How would they act? Then, envision yourself as that person, and go through the motions. Make sure you have it all down before you approach your guy (practice in the mirror if you have to), and then go for it.

The Advice Seeker – Let's pretend you're in a clothing store and you see the cutest sales clerk. Here's the perfect opportunity to use this technique. Ask his opinion on what you should get your friend for their birthday. This technique allows you to speak with the individual without seeming like you're hitting on him/her, and you're letting it be known you like and trust their taste!

The Innocent – For this one, you go up to your victim, er guy, and say right off the bat that you know this sounds like a pickup line, but really it's not. Then, once they're disarmed, tell him that he just really looks familiar and you wanted to figure out where you might know them from. This is perfect because it allows you to find out all about them (and vice versa), and by the end of the conversation, you'll have established a rapport without ever having to put yourself on the line!

If they're the shy one.

The Comedian – There's no better ice breaker than a hilarious joke, so come prepared. This technique is guaranteed to work well on the shyest of people because it's totally disarming. Plus, if it's funny enough, they won't have any choice but to laugh. Once that's accomplished, all you've gotta do is real them in!

The Charmer – If your shy hottie is standing alone try the confident and playful approach with one of these one-liners: “If the person you're waiting for doesn't show, I'll be right over here, waiting for you” or “There you are – I've been looking all over for you.” Sometimes just being charming and confident is all it takes to bring down those barriers. “I'm really not trying to pick you up; I just wanted to know if you've ever been to such and such, because I know I've seen you there before, and I didn't want you to think I was rude by not acknowledging you.”

The Mirror – Even if you're the most gregarious confident person in the world, tell the shy guy or girl you have your eye on that you're not. Make it seem as though the two of you are in the same boat, and they'll instantly feel more at ease. This works great at a party or bar where you can say, “I hate these things, don't you?”

About the Author:

April Masini, America's foremost internet dating and relationship expert, and author of the best-selling book, Date Out Of Your League, is continually sought out for her expertise and opinion by the world's most widely read and respected publications, including: The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, Maxim, Fitness, Essence, Hustler, Cosmopolitan and The Los Angeles Times, (to name only a few). For more information please visit askapril.com

   
   
 
   
 
   

---

:: Dating-Trek Services :: :: Dynamic Links Directory :: :: Online Dating/Cyber Relationships ::
:: Romance & Sex Life :: :: Online Dating Services :: :: Women's Issues ::
:: Attraction Secrets, Dating Technics :: :: Wedding-Marriage :: :: Married Life, Family Issues ::
:: Relationship Conflicts :: :: Mail Order Brides :: :: Breaking Up, Divorce Coping :: :: Advice for Men ::
:: Personal Growth :: :: Hobbies & Interests :: :: Entertainment ::
:: Business-Related :: :: General News :: :: Miscellaneous :: :: Dating Essentials ::
:: Online Dating/Cyber Relationships :: :: Find A Date/Meeting People ::
:: Ideas for Dates :: :: First Date :: :: Dating for Shy People :: :: Dating Tips & Ideas ::
:: Infidelity/Cheating :: :: Kissing :: :: Marriage Proposal Ideas ::
:: Sex, Romance & Love Addiction :: :: What Is Sexy :: :: Attraction & Flirting ::
:: Conversational Tips :: :: Singles Issues :: :: Honesty & Relationships ::
:: Dating for Men :: :: Dating for Women :: :: Finding Your Soulmate ::
:: Interfaith Relationships :: :: Long Distance Relationships :: :: Engagement ::
:: Cohabitation/Living Together :: :: Breaking Up :: :: Is He or She the One ::
:: Love Rejection :: :: New Relationships :: :: Commitment & Monogamy ::
:: Understanding Your Partner :: :: Other Dating Issues ::
:: Seduction Secrets, Lovemaking Tips ::
:: Submit Your Article ::
:: Submit URL/Link Exchange ::

Fake Diploma -www.diplomasandmore.com offers fake diplomas and transcripts at reasonable prices.

Websites For Dummies -www.ponys.com offers complete website solutions and affordaye hosting.

Fake Diplomas and Transcripts -www.documentprofessionals.com offers fake documents at reasonable prices.

Just Reptiles -www.justreptiles.com offers the best reptile record keeping software available.

Find a Golf Course -www.golfcoursesnow.com is the easiest way to locate a golf course and get the info.

Site Optimization -www.1rststep.com offers site optimization at reasonable prices.

Handyman Services -www.everettshandyman.com offers handyman services at reasonable prices.

Source Directory -www.ndo-lb.com a new directory for todays needs.

Fake Diplomas -www.diplomapros.com offers fake diplomas and transcripts at reasonable prices.

Indiana classified -www.michigancityclassifieds.com Your northern Indiana classified source.

Educational Directory -www.eccb2007.org for your educational directory needs.

Song Lyrics -www.notinsoho.com for song lyrics.

Ball Python classifieds -www.ballpythonclassifieds.com Your ball python classified source.

Free Games -www.radioritas.com for playing online arcade games.

Desktop Babes -www.ppmc-inc.com for babes on your desktop.

School Time Management -www.schooltimemanagement.com to find the right school.

Fake Diploma Info -www.fakediplomainfo.com for everything you want to know about fake diplomas.

Fake Diploma Directory -www.fakediplomadirectory.com Find a fake diploma directory.

Last Updated Sunday, September 14 2008 @ 11:29 PM CDT