TOP TEN THINGS NEVER TO DO ON A FIRST DATE!

1. DON'T wear something you don't feel drop dead gorgeous in.
How much fun can you have if you have to monitor how many bites of food because just one more might be the fatal one that bursts the seams on your skintight dress- like the Hoover Dam? And always having to remember not to raise your arm no matter what happens is no picnic because your last clean shirt has a hole in the armpit and you haven't seen a sewing kit since you last visited your grandmother in Toluca Lake...Why, that would be worse than this run-on sentence.

2. DON'T wear colored contacts on a first date.
One of my guy friends told me a story of a first date with a lovely women who possessed, you guessed it, the most beautiful eyes... He made sure to compliment her eyes more than once, and after that first date, they agreed to see each other again. Sure enough, the next time he saw her, he noticed that her eyes were just an average shade of gray, nothing special, (which was fine), but he had felt so embarrassed praising her on something that wasn't really hers, I guess it stuck with him, and they eventually drifted apart.

3. DON'T mention your last boyfriend/girlfriend six hundred times.
For that matter, don't mention anyone else of the opposite sex if you can help it. I remember one of my worst dates with a guy who had managed to talk about four different women he implied were interested in him at the time. Needless to say, that was the last date he had with me. It just comes off as insecurity. If the other person is on the date with you, chances are they find some value in you. You don't need to point out the fact that you are, in fact, desired by all.

4. DON'T talk about yourself too much.
It's true that one of the best ways you can get some one to pay rapt attention to you is to ask them lots of questions about themselves. It's amazing how well this works. Yet when you're nervous, you might have a tendency to babble on about your life endlessly, as you don't have to think that much to pull that information out of your head. And of course, we all know not to do this when we think about it. I can't remember ever hearing "Gee, she only wanted to talk about ME all night!...how boring!"

5. DON'T talk wistfully about how many children you'd like to have...
I've known men and women alike who do this. I feel it's important to find out if a possible relationship candidate shares your goals, but save it for a few dates down the line, after you've decided that you might actually have the potential to get along with this new person. Just concentrate on having fun for now!

6. If it's a blind date, DON'T compare yourself to anyone famous, looks-wise.
Now we all know this never works the way we'd like it to. Sure, most of us all have someone famous we're compared to. With me, it's usually Jodie Foster meets Gillian Anderson. I can live with that. But personality-wise, apparently I'm Carla from Cheers, Mrs. Roper, and Elaine from Seinfeld all rolled into one. Those comparisons are obviously wrong...Ha! My point? Most people look like a more slightly skewed version of these famous stars. I have never met anyone who really looked like the fabulous celebrity they said they looked like. So proceed with caution. Unless, of course, you are drop dead gorgeous, then you can say the famous ones look like you...

7. DON'T check out other people!
Ah, nothing is more that a turn-off than to be out on a date with someone and notice him checking out the girl with the cleavage right in front of your face! It might not happen often, and it's usually another sign of insecurity, but if it does, I usually try to have a smart alecky comment handy, maybe something like "you know, if you hurry, you can get that girl to autograph the bucket of drool that's accumulating as we speak. Go ahead, I'll wait..."

8. DON'T drink too much!
The best example I can think of is to rent that classic gem 'Blind date' with Kim Basinger and Bruce Willis. She's the girl of his dreams until she has a bit too much champagne, at his prompting... Before you know it, he's lost his job, suit, apartment, car and reputation. It probably wouldn't go that far, but no-one likes to see you get that loose before they even get to know you. If the date sucks, then drink when you get home!

9. DON'T assume that he/she will automatically grab for the check.
I hear different stories on this one, but just to play it safe, no matter who invites whom, it's always a nice gesture to offer to pay for half the check even if you didn't do the asking. I suppose it works like this... If the date is going well, the asker will tell you not to be ridiculous and will grab the check, but if it's yet another date from hell, the asker will probably want the askee to cough up some cash. My personal philosophy is to always offer, as it is a new age and I do have a decent job. If he pays, and I like him, I'll offer something in return like a picnic or an invite for a home-cooked meal.

10. DON'T jump into the sack!
You know, the older I get, the more moralistic I become. Yeah, I know, it's a sign of old age. It scares me, and I've made a few mistakes, but this one I have to stand by. The thing is, I think this rule bothers men far more than women. Because, guys, if we like you a lot, and we see promise, we're going to lean towards wanting to sleep with you at some point. It doesn't mean we've had sexual relations with entire football teams, but we don't lose respect for you like you say you might do for us. The fact that men seem uncomfortable with sleeping with a potential Ms. Right on the first date is something I don't question, that's just the way it is. It's always better to savor anticipation.

Contributed by Brenda Ross dating.about.com  
   
 
   
 
   
 
   
 
   
 
   

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Last Updated Thursday, August 30 2007 @ 07:54 AM CDT