INTERFAITH HOLIDAY TIPS: SURVIVING THE DECEMBER DILEMMA

by Joan C. Hawxhurst, Dovetail Publishing

The winter holidays can be a great source of tension for interfaith couples. Following are some tips for surviving--and even enjoying--Hanukkah and Christmas.

1. Don't get bogged down on the "tree issue." Many interfaith couples find that the issue of whether or not to have a Christmas tree in their home is the first test of their relationship. Move beyond the tree to the deeper issues of why Christmas is important to the Christian partner and threatening to the Jewish partner.

2. Learn about your partner's holiday history and traditions, and share what's special about your own holiday. Together you can sing Christmas carols, make potato latkes, go to Midnight Mass, and light the menorah.

3. Gift-giving can seem overwhelming when you're buying for two concurrent holidays. Discuss this with your partner: will you give each other gifts for both Hanukkah and Christmas? Will you give a gift to your partner on his/her holiday? And what about the extended families?

4. Reflect on what is the most meaningful part of your holiday celebrations, and be willing to compromise on what's less important.

5. Consult with your partner and make decisions together about holiday visits to both families. Once you've made a plan, sensitively share it with both sets of parents.

6. Remember that, because you are an interfaith couple, you have a unique opportunity to give and receive, to celebrate the best of both traditions. Working together to create your own traditions, you'll foster a warm and wonderful holiday spirit that others will notice.

Joan C. Hawxhurst is the founding editor of Dovetail: A Journal by and for Jewish/Christian families, and the president of Dovetail Publishing in Kalamazoo, Michigan. She is the Christian partner in an interfaith marriage. For more information about the resources producing by her company, call (800) 530-1596 or e-mail at di-ifr@bardstown.com.

 
   
 
   
 
   
 
   
 
   
 
   
 
   
 
   
 
   
 
   
 
   
 
   
 
   
 
   
 
   
 
   
 
   
 
   
 
   
 
   
 
   
 
   
 
   
 
   
 
   
 
   
 
   

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Last Updated Thursday, August 30 2007 @ 08:08 AM CDT